Starting a story with "According to" is lame. It's almost as bad as using Wikipedia as a source. That said, according to Wikipedia, the word "gematria" means "a system of assigning numerical value to a word or phrase in the belief that words or phrases with identical numerical values bear some relation to each other." I'll be using gematria in these nightlife picks, which I based on coolness level or the ability for me to make fun of them.

First up is Le Spank, happening at The Office (3936 30th St. in North Park) on Thursday, Aug. 16. Special-guest DJs Social Disco Club, together with resident mix masters, blast deep house and party jam. Go to the bar for all-night $5 shots and beer to numb your body, because there will surely be a few people there who'll take the event's name literally. In gematria, this is a 7, since there's also live art by The Infusion Project.

Next up is Gematria at Kava Lounge (2812 Kettner Blvd. in Middletown) on Friday, Aug. 17. It's how I learned the word "gematria," so that earns it points. Psychopop, Mr. IMD and resident DJs will play cumbia, tropical bass and "funky muzik," which I'm guessing is funky music. That means it's butt-shaking time. Just when I thought this would get a 7, I saw that Marsicos German taco trunk will be parked outside. That bumps it to an 8.

On Monday, Aug. 20, El Dorado (1030 Broadway, Downtown) will swoop in for the gematria win with #NBD. El-D is hashtagging this night as "no big deal," but it kind of is a big deal, because bartenders from Noble Experiment will make classic cocktails like Midori Sours and Duck Farts (wait, what?). The musical atmosphere to this shindig is a playlist of "'80s butt rock" and '90s-to-the-present "crap-rap." The minimal frills and use of butt rock earns this a 9.


Write to alexz@sdcitybeat.com. You can also bug her on Twitter.

Calendar

  • Known as the ‘Official Scripps National Spelling Bee Watch Party for Adults,’ guests can cheer on kids in the Scripps National Spelling Bee on ESPN before competing in a spelling bee themselves
  • The renowned Mexican black and white photographer presents an exhibition exploring the principal themes within three groups: "Bestiarium"," Fantastic Women" and "Silent Natures."
  • Debunk some of the stereotypes surrounding cannibalism at this new exhibition that takes a hands-on approach to the subject. Includes video games and interactive activities where patrons will have to decide...
  • A mass action against the closing of the UCSD University Art Gallery. Participants will meet at the Silent Tree (located near the Library Walk) and march together toward the Gallery
  • Local science illustrator Melissa Walter presents new abstract works that are literal interpretations of astronomical theories
  • So Say We All invites listeners to hear stories about real life, the internet, the ways those places intersect or the way they don't intersect at all, told by seven locals
  • The author, comic book writer, and son of Stephen King will sign his new apocalyptic thriller, The Fireman
See all events on Thursday, May 26