On Oct. 3, Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council was on Mike Huckabees radio show dropping some homophobic horseshit about how gays will never have a sense of self-fulfillment in their lives because homosexuality is outside of how God created men and women.
Is it me or is outside of how God created men and women a strange way to say that? Its as if God was thinking, Well, Ive just finished creating Adam and Eve, so now I think Ill invent homosexuality, but it has to go outside, somewhere safe, so they cant get to it.
But we know what Perkins was trying to say. He was saying that God didnt create homosexuals, which makes me wonder if Perkins isnt 90 minutes short of a 5-Hour Energy shot. After all, Perkins believes in a Judeo-Christian deity, so even the simplest syllogism will dismiss his theory:
Premise: God created all people.
Premise: Homosexuals are people (really).
Conclusion. God created homosexuals.
It could be argued that what Perkins was saying was that God did not create humans to be homosexual—that they made that choice on their own. This, too, is easily disproven by syllogism:
Premise: God created everything that exists.
Premise: Homosexuality exists.
Conclusion: God created homosexuality.
It seems clear to me that God created homosexuality to be inside of how he created men and women—not that Perkins has enough brain-gas to power any kind of critical thought. The guy probably thinks syllogism is what you get when an etymologist is aroused by polysyllabic words. Still, how on Earth can anyone who believes in a deity that created everything argue that something that clearly exists wasnt created by the deity?
This goes back to the argument about whether homosexuality is natural. Most anti-gay activists will say its not, and thats the reason gay people shouldnt be permitted to marry. I disagree on both counts.
First, anyone who doesnt have a bucket-full of syllo-jism between their ears will tell you that homosexuality is as natural as an outie belly button. According to Harper-Collins English Dictionary, natural means, existing in, or formed by, nature. The fact that human beings are both existing in and formed by nature means that they, and their varying characteristics, are natural. If thats not enough proof, a quick glance at the animal kingdom should extinguish any doubt.
In 1999, a study by researcher and biologist Bruce Bagemihl titled Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity, revealed that homosexual behavior has been observed in nearly 1,500 species. For instance, youve got all those gay dolphins mounting each others blowholes off the coast of Australia. Queer giraffes have been necking since the Pleistocene epoch. Lesbian vultures love to eat each other out. A ton of elephants are on the down-low. Fruit flies are pretty gay, (I will resist the temptation to pun the obvious). Dragonflies have more queers cruising a single disco swamp than the entire LGBT community of San Francisco. And then theres the bower bird, which isnt known to engage in gay sex but is famous for having the best-decorated nest in the neighborhood—not that theres anything wrong with that.
The point is, its not just humans who have a percentage of their population playing for the other team. Homosexuality occurs quite often in the animal kingdom, as well, to which Aristotle says:
Premise: Anything that animals do is natural.
Premise: Animals do homosexuality.
Conclusion: Homosexuality is natural.
Its like the word supernatural. For years, Ive been saying, Theres no such thing as a supernatural being or activity. According to Harper-Collins English Dictionary, supernatural means being above or beyond what is natural. So, whether monsters exist, whether aliens exist, whether ESP, telekinesis, remote viewing—whatever the so-called supernatural entity or phenomenon, if it exists, then its as much a part of nature as farts and fat asses.
And that brings me to the most important point of the point. It doesnt matter if homosexuality is natural. If natural were the determining factor of what should be permitted, wed have to legalize murder and rape, which both naturally occur in the animal kingdom. Wed have to legalize burglary. Wed have to legalize polygamy. Wed have to legalize cannibalistic filicide (the eating of offspring). Wed have to legalize patricide, fratricide, matricide, uxorcide, sororicide and senicide, and then, when were done legalizing all those behaviors, wed have to ban all the unnatural stuff like pharmaceuticals, plastics, computers, telephones, Twinkies, Silly String and Nicki Minaj.
So, if not nature, what should be the standard for what we deem illegal? For the answer, I direct you to another Greek scholar, Hippocrates, who mandated that physicians do no harm. Amen, brother. Do no goddamn harm! It works both ways. Because, one way we do harm is by making laws that restrict peoples freedoms. Therefore, we should ensure that laws only prohibit harmful things, and every- thing that harms nobody be kept legal. Or, to let Aristotle drop it old-school style:
Premise: Everything that harms nobody should be legal.
Premise: Gay marriage between consenting adults harms nobody.
Conclusion: Gay marriage between consenting adults should be legal.
Write to email@example.com and firstname.lastname@example.org. Edwin Decker blogs at www.edwindecker.com. Follow him on Twitter @edwindecker or find him on Facebook.
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