When opening a utensil drawer, one doesn't usually think, That fork looks sexy. I should bring it into the bedroom and have some fun with it. 

Well, Bill Freyer, co-owner of the North Park sex shop Pleasures & Treasures, says that kind of limited thinking can keep someone from exploring interesting new realms of sexual foreplay.

In fact, any household is full of items that can crank a regular knockin'-boots session up to a level usually reserved for steamy R&B music videos.

"I'm big on using things that people already have in their own home," says Freyer, who runs a regular workshop called "Sex on the Cheap." In it, he gives tips on stuff that can be found around the home or at the dollar store that can double as pleasure tools. 

"Anything that you can think of pretty much can be used in the bedroom," he says. "It's a matter of going into your closet and thinking, 'How can I use that in the bedroom?'"

That fork, for instance, is perfect for sensation play.

"If you take a fork, and if you take the tines on the back, and just rake it across the thigh or breast, it creates a sensation," he explains. "Take that same fork and reverse it so the tines face down; it's going to be a little sharper, a little more intense. You don't have to put pressure on it, but it scratches a bit more. That is sensation play."

The forking-foreplay dynamic can be manipulated even further by placing it in a cup of ice or hot water. Switching the temperatures will add a different set of sensations that Freyer insists can be mind-blowing. The same activity can be done with a spoon or any other metal utensil.

Surprisingly, a cheese grater is another kitchen staple that can make its way into the bone zone.

"This is a little but rougher, but it works as well," Freyer assures. "You don't want to drag that against the skin because that can really hurt you, but if you drag it on the back side away from the sharp points, you can scratch up a little bit, but it's not going to tear up the skin. So youíre going to get that Oh, wow feeling."

When filing down fingernails, it might be a good idea to move that emery board up to the chest. 

Freyer says the gritty sensation of the board is great on nipples.

"Every woman has an emery board. If you take that and just gently rub it across the nipple, you're not going to totally sand it down, but that abrasiveness just on the tip of the nipple totally brings the blood flow up," he says.

To avoid any awkward moments of intensity overkill, Freyer suggests testing an individual's pain threshold by pinching the skin in varying degrees of intensity. 

Speaking of pain, since 50 Shades of Grey hit bookshelves around the world, horny housewives have become increasingly curious about BDSM. However, spanking during sex ain't anything new. While some folks invest in designer paddles, Freyer suggests using a wooden spoon, spatula or rubber flip-flop for bottom smacking.

Scarves can also serve as handcuffs and blindfolds and are much less threatening than rope. Freyer also suggests saran wrap for easy and inexpensive DIY bondage experimentation.

"You can actually roll out a 2-foot section and fold it into three pieces and just wrap it around somebody's wrist. You can put it around the ankles also," he says. "They're not going to get out of it because saran wrap is pretty damn strong."

To paraphrase R. Kelly, there's nothing wrong with a little bump and grind. If taking an old flip-flop to the butt makes it even better, then smack away.


Write to alexz@sdcitybeat.com. You can also bug her on Twitter.

Calendar

  • The renowned Mexican black and white photographer presents an exhibition exploring the principal themes within three groups: "Bestiarium"," Fantastic Women" and "Silent Natures."
  • Presented by Pacific Arts Movement, the sixth annual mini film fest features 14 film programs from 10 countries that includes everything from docs to romantic tearjerkers. See website for full lineup and...
  • Debunk some of the stereotypes surrounding cannibalism at this new exhibition that takes a hands-on approach to the subject. Includes video games and interactive activities where patrons will have to decide...
  • The former local boy and creator of the highly influential blog, Advanced Style, will be signing and discussing his third book, Advanced Style: Older and Wiser, which features inspiring pictures and stories...
  • C.J. Chenier and Bonsoir Catin headline this annual Cajun inspired festival. Also enjoy 10,000 pounds of crawfish, dancing and cooking demonstrations. Held at Spanish Landing Park, across from the...
  • A Cinco de Mayo party featuring $2 tacos, cocktails and live music from Bostich+Fussible, Javiera Mena and Gepe
  • A spoken word showcase hosted by English instructor Karla Cordero and her City College students. There will also be a special reading from poet Mercedez Holtry, as well as an art and photography show....
  • Widely known as host of "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live and for his role in the Showtime dramedy Weeds, Kevin Nealon brings his unique humor back to the stand-up stage
  • New works from over a dozen UCSD undergraduate students. Participating artists include Charity Algarme, Richard Lin, Joseph Maas, Ignatius Nguyen, and more
  • This video art exhibition from UCSD MFA candidate Stefani Byrd features two installations that explore the themes of breath, mediation, and the nature of time. Takes place in the VAF Performance Space,...
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