For quite some time now, I've been privy to some salacious Facebook and Instagram posts about a mysterious monthly event at Prohibition (548 Fifth Ave., Downtown) simply known as The Weird-Off. These images would often include men in much-too-small underwear shaking a cocktail from atop a bar. On one occasion, a shirtless bartender was mixing a cocktail with a "dong bong," a beer-bong-like contraption that poured alcohol into a glass via plastic dildo. If these sorts of shenanigans pique your interest as much as they do mine, I strongly suggest you make your way to the cocktail bar on Wednesday, March 27, for what's set to be the final round of a March Madness-themed Weird-Off between some of the city's best mixologists. Expect things to get wild, and maybe semi-nude.

While there won't be any dong bongs in sight, El Camino's (2400 India St. in Little Italy) Fifth Fridays are usually a decent night out, thanks to a regular lineup of cool local DJs and tasty micheladas served in a boot-shaped glass. Order some boots on Friday, March 29, and groove to tunes provided by DJs Felt 1, Rells and R-Type. They'll spin hip-hop both old and new, R&B, soul and funk, so don't be surprised to see at least three dudes doing the white-man's overbite. Show up before 11 p.m. and avoid paying a $5 cover, ya cheapskate.

For three years, Detour SD has brought house music to the hard-partying masses, supporting the efforts of local house DJs along the way. Celebrate the regular club night's third anniversary at Kava Lounge (2812 Kettner Blvd. in Middletown) on Saturday, March 30. Resident DJs J.P. Richardson, Joe Pea, Brian Patterson, Marques Scot and Thomaz Nestlehner will spin the oonce-oonce music for all the club rats. As an added bonus, Arte Fresca will have art by Hill Young and Julia Gomez on view. Just try not to shake your butt so hard that you get the spins. No one wants a barf-covered painting.

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