June 23 2015 06:25 PM

Modern Times beer will have you singing 'yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum-barrel-aged beer'

Modern Times’ Monsters’ Park imperial stout
Photo by Beth Demmon

If you've ever poured or been poured a hefty stout, you've probably heard the phrase "thick as motor oil," a fairly standard description for a viscous, powerful, commanding brew. However, in the two years since they opened their doors, Modern Times (3000 Upas St.) hasn't generally subscribed to the typical adjectives for any of their beers, and their latest coconut-infused Monsters' Park is no exception.

Aged in Caribbean rum barrels and vamped up with a hearty helping of coconut, this brand new imperial stout is equally large (12 percent ABV), yet sensually sweeter to the original "hulking, cantankerous" counterpart. Its color more closely resembles a high grade of dark maple syrup with the same cloying tongue tang that'll keep you coming back for more. 

It's only one of the upcoming five Caribbean rum barrel aged releases, but it's sure to be a crowd pleaser for anyone who enjoys a tropical twist to their beer. Plus at 12 percent, it's the perfect beer to share with a friend, or even make it a threesome!

Like anything worth enjoying, this version of Monsters' Park is worth getting warmed up to reach maximum climax. The first sip is pure coconut, and if it were to stay at this air-freshener level sweetness for the entire bottle, then Houston, we'd have a problem. Luckily, each successive slosh tapers down from syrupy aromatics toward notes of dark cherry rum, ultimately resulting in a remarkably well-balanced experience for an imperial stout. 

It's huge in a comforting way, more of a gentle giant than overpowering colossus that'll knock you flat on your ass. At worst it'll give you a bit of a spanking, but with a body like this, you'll probably just bite your lip and let it happen.

Well-balanced or not, expect your final exhalations to give off just a twinge of fire, reminding you that after six months inside a rum-soaked oak barrel, this beer is all grown up and ready to party. Feel free to bring your own drink umbrella; I sincerely doubt they'll be provided at either über-hip location.

Don't bother looking for this special release in stores, or even at Modern Times itself as of yet. The series sold out faster than Comic-Con tickets and pickup for the lucky ticket holders runs through August 4th at the Point Loma Fermentorium (3725 Greenwood Street). Anything not claimed by then will be released back to the brewery—but if you didn't manage to snag a bottle, maybe you can sweet talk your way into a taster from one of your luckier coconut loving friends. 


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