In a classic episode titled "The Strike" on the seminal sitcom Seinfeld, which aired from July 1989 to May of 1998 (Thanks, Internet!) on NBC, a holiday known as "Festivus" became part of popular culture.
As you ought to know, along with an aluminum pole replacing Christmas trees and a wrestling match called the Feats of Strength, a practice that's part of the Festivus celebration is the "Airing of Grievances." For this special tradition, individuals inform the gathered of how they've disappointed them this year.
The end of any year always comes with a mega onslaught of Best, Worst, Most Memorable, Best Goats, etc., listicles. I've decided to marry the tradition of listicles and the airing of grievances into one, because there's been about 500,000 things that grinded my gears in 2015 and as Frank says in that amazing episode, "I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it!"
Here's my Top 10 list of Things That Have Disappointed Me in 2015:
10. Concert phone videographers. Seriously, you're going to Blair Witch Project-style record this entire concert on your phone? The blood is rushing out of your arm but you just have to catch this entire set and block my view. You're not going to watch that later. You know you aren't.
9. Hoverboards. Why is walking not cool anymore?
8. Dudes. Because of the patriarchy, you're all at least diet terrible in some way. Yes, all of you. Some more than others and some of you deserve your own category (see below). Some of you aren't all the way the worst. That's why I continue letting you take me on dates, though believe me when I say that won't detract me from calling you out on your bullshit.
7. White dudes. Seriously, white dudes, why are you the worst? Stop mansplaining my own experiences as a woman to me. Stop calling me a "spicy Latina." I'm not a carrot you get with your California burrito. Stop making more money than me for the same amount of work, and not raising your voice in opposition to that inequity. Stop thinking you deserve any ownership of my body. Stop making excuses for your shitty friends being shitty humans and challenge them to be better people. Stop being so entitled. Stop requesting Red Hot Chili Peppers and Sublime on the radio. Stop trying to downplay your white dude privilege. You are privileged and you should be fighting it. And all the shitty comments you're likely going to leave online about this column further proves why you are on this list.
6. Racists. You're everywhere. Especially on the Internet, where you feel safe and brave to be garbage humans. You don't want to help refugees. You attack Muslims (more on that later). You don't think black lives matter. I have no idea how to change you, and maybe you can't be changed. But I hope one day you grow a heart and learn about compassion and tolerance, or at the very least ask why your views are offensive and truly listen.
5. Donald Trump. Saying I'm disappointed in him implies I had any hope in this shitdick at any point. Still, can we tie him and his hateful, offensive rhetoric to a rock and send him into the ocean?
4. Police brutality. This is unacceptable. The police shouldn't be people we fear. They shouldn't get a free pass for their actions just because they have a badge. Serious institutional changes need to happen to ensure that police officers know not to fucking shoot all the black people and abuse their power over and over again.
3. Attacks on reproductive rights and Planned Parenthood. You cannot and should not tell me or any other woman what they can do with their body. My life and how I live it is my choice. Don't bring God into this, you ignorant assholes. This is a matter of basic human rights, and you're trying to take mine away. Attacking a health organization that helps mostly women with their all-around health as well as reproductive health is attacking women as a whole. You should be ashamed.
2. Terrorism. This has been a pretty horrific year in terrorism all over the world, and it seems that America has gotten a much bigger taste of it in the last couple of years—with the Charleston church shooting, San Bernadino shooting, Planned Parenthood shooting and 350 other mass shootings that occurred in the U.S this year. What's even more aggravating/enraging is people still, after all those deaths and more surely to come, refusing to bring about gun control in this country. There are not enough lifeless bodies of innocent men, women and children to make these gun nuts listen to reason. What's it gonna take, guys?
1.Islamophobes. Attacking Muslim people because a small radical sector of Muslims uses their religion to inflict terror is not okay. Guess which other religion regularly and historically has used their God to inflict terror on others? Christianity! Throwing coffee at praying Muslims makes you a waste of human space. Leaving a pig's head at a mosque makes you a terrorist.