The Third Commandment reminds us not to take the Lord's name lightly, and mixologists and brewers have not always listened diligently. While the alcohol content might be heavenly, the labeling calls for a direct drop-off to the underworld.
First stop on hell's highway is beer bar Bottlecraft (2252 India Ave.), where sinners can find a range of mischievous brews, including Epic Brewing Company's barrel-aged imperial stout Big Bad Baptist and its spawn, Son of a Baptist, an 8 percent coffee stout made with varying small-batch roasters. But the Holy Trinity comes together in Evil Twin Brewing's Even More Jesus collection. These fudgy, imperial stouts ring in at 12 percent and are so popular the shelf rarely stays stocked because, according to its bottle, it "rises beyond mortal stardom into a higher godly league."
For liquor-filled defiance, head to Kindred (1503 30th St.) for cocktails like Faith Hammer, a concoction of rye, dry vermouth, absinthe and bitters. There's also the gin-based Unholy Zodiac with hints of pineapple and cinnamon. And don't forget the vermouth-laden Thundertaker, a premonition of sipping and sinning. Or, offer up an Unanswered Prayer of lime, agave, Serrano chili, cucumber, and tonic to the designated driver.
Before the last call to hell, grab a drink of Ballast Point's Devil's Share Bourbon. This demonic nectar is sold out at the breweries, but it's still available at Seven Grand (3054 University Ave.) Ballast Point recommends asking for it with simple syrup, lemon wedges and mint to make one helluva Bourbon Smash. Opting for award-winning, port-barrelled Angel's Envy is also an option when the devil is no longer willing to share.
Glory to God in the highest (alcohol by volume).