Oct. 24 2016 04:28 PM

For Halloween, a curated your scary-movie marathon using streaming films from around the Web


    4 p.m.—6 p.m.: Bone Tomahawk (2015, Amazon Prime)

    Your journey begins even before the sun goes down. This will convince your friends—Sara, Katie, Jim, and that rascally scamp, Ashton—that everything is fine. Everybody's mental state is A-OK. You reach out to grab Jim's beers. "Let me just throw these in the fridge for you!" You smile. They smile.

    Bone Tomahawk is a genre-bending flick that basically retells the John Wayne classic The Searchers, but does away with the racist "cowboys vs. Indians trope" by pitting the heroes against monstrous troglodytes. It's also disarmingly funny and gruesome (you'll never forget one scene near the end).

    6 p.m.—8 p.m.: The Witches (1990, Amazon Prime)

    Don't laugh: Even though it's a kids' movie, The Witches is fucking terrifying. Based off the Roald Dahl book of the same name, the film shares the author's giddy penchant for playing rough. And Anjelica Huston is amazing in this movie, evidenced by the eager, pseudo-sexual writhing she does right before she turns Bruno into a mouse.

    8 p.m.—10 p.m.: The Invitation (2015, Netflix)

    "Hey, why don't we open those brewskies," you suggest. You grab Jim's beers from the fridge—cold now! "Sorry if that movie was a little too young for a horror marathon," you call out from the kitchen, popping tops off the bottles. Your friends don't respond. Probably cuddling up, you think. You have no one to snuggle. God, get a room or something.

    In the low-budget but super smart The Invitation, main character Will attends a dinner party hosted by his ex-wife—their divorce is the result of their son's accidental death years prior—and it turns out she has ulterior motives for inviting him.To say any more would be giving away some great twists.

    10 p.m.—12 a.m.: They Look Like People (2015, Netflix)

    Another smart, low-budge horror flick that came out last year is They Look Like People. It'skind of like a mumblecore version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, except with demons and mental illness instead of aliens. Solid performances and a couple very creepy images make this a standout.

    12 a.m.—1 a.m.: X-Files:"Home" (1996, Netflix)

    All the fancy beers are gone, and you've busted out the cheap stuff. Jim and Sara scoff, but Ashton is always down to party. Good old Ashton. Where the hell did Katie go? You want to watch something to remind you of when you weren't so alone. You put on the X-Files.

    This is the episode that Fox originally wouldn't air due to its graphic content and it's still really good. I still say "damn" every time I watch it.

    1 a.m.—3 a.m.: Black Christmas (1974, YouTube)

    It's this point of the night where the delirium manifests in watching entire movies on YouTube, and there are few better than Black Christmas. This proto-slasher about a killer who stalks a sorority house on Christmas predates all Halloween and Friday the 13th movies, and it's incredibly nasty and nihilistic.

    3 a.m.—4 a.m.:Begotten (1990, YouTube)

    Katie's suddenly back, and you wonder if she was actually ever really gone because you realize you've all been doing hard drugs for the past hour and, now, Begotten is on. There might also be someone at the door. You check, but there's only darkness.

    Begotten is a black-and-white experimental horror film that retells the tale of Genesis and makes Eraserhead look commercial by comparison. The hellish film starts with a bloody ghost-like God disemboweling Himself to give birth to Mother Earth, and the fun continues from there.

    4 a.m.—6 a.m.: Tourist Trap (1979, YouTube)

    This schlocky and nearly incomprehensible film about a man with psychokinetic powers and a legion of creepy-ass mannequins fits into the so-bad-it's-good category. Mannequins are always great sources of terror, and the ending is surprisingly surreal and effective.

    6 a.m.—8 a.m.: Spider Baby (1964, YouTube)

    The original grindhouse, hillbilly horror about an incestuous family affected with a disease that makes them regress mentally and physically. Pretty sure Rob Zombie has spent an entire career trying to match this film's greatness.

    8 a.m.—10 a.m.: Honeymoon (2014, Netflix)

    Your bloodshot eyes make cracking sounds as they move in their sockets. You look at the morning sun; it's blinding. In another part of the house, you hear Sara, Katie and Jim (Jim, you dawg) all laughing. Ashton sits in the corner, his back facing you. You don't need them. You can watch movies forever.

    Honeymoon is another great indie horror flick that addresses the anxiety of committing yourself to someone forever. It includes one of the most tense and grossest, er...extraction scenes in recent memory.

    10 a.m.—12 p.m.: Creep (2014, Netflix)

    A found-footage film, so...yeah. But Creep proves Mark Duplass—essentially the only actor in this—can be simultaneously scary and lovable.

    12 p.m.—2 p.m.: Street Trash (1987, YouTube)

    A film about tainted wine that makes homeless people, well, explode. There's also a scene where the characters play a game of catch with someone's severed penis. Everything about this movie is offensive, but at this point in the marathon, you probably don't even know what's real anymore.

    2 p.m.—4 p.m.: Hellraiser (1987, Netflix)

    End the night on a high note with this innovative and inventive classic. You did it—24 hours of streaming horror! Doesn't matter that you're eating a squirrel that wandered in during the night and are covered in blood. Is it yours or your friends' blood? Doesn't matter. You can always get new friends for next year's marathon.


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