ryan-web
Feb. 1 2016
Now, it's difficult to write about the America's Got Talent holding area without plagiarizing the descriptions of Purgatory in classic literature
ryan-web
Jan. 19 2016
It's the night of Star Wars: The Force Awakens' premier, and I don't see how this night can end well for me. I'm going to fuck up, and the nerds are going to have a field day. I'll get my droids wrong,...
ryan-web
Jan. 4 2016
Man, 2015. Another year down the drain. Another year that everyone famous will be younger than me. Kids getting their driver's licenses this year will have not even been born to experience the terror of...
ryan-web
Dec. 21 2015
One of the fundamental aspects of a healthy mentality is the ability to let things go. I'm sure most therapists will tell you that dwelling on past misgivings will only lead to a downward spiral of further...
ryan-web
Dec. 7 2015
A week before my grandma's death, I talked to Sharon Ross, director of public relations & development for Lifesharing—a federally designated nonprofit committed to organ and tissue donation services...
ryan-web
Nov. 23 2015
Also, I know they're not actually hoverboards, but more like Segways with the handles removed. (None of this is helping my call for rebellion, is it?)
ryan-web
Nov. 9 2015
Being at a festival solely devoted to apples, I undergo this remarkable transformation where I suddenly can’t care about anything besides apples
ryan-web
Oct. 26 2015
There’s nothing goth about the Comic Sans font. I stare at the San Diego Pagan Pride Day’s website, not really knowing what I expected. Something eviler, no doubt
ryan-web
Oct. 12 2015
Pretend you've never seen a Target before. Not just Targets, but department stores in general. Now go deeper into this fantasy and pretend the fundamental tenets of capitalism and consumerism have not...
ryan-web
Sept. 28 2015
We're all here to see The Room, a 2003 film that has quickly earned cult status, partly due to its rampant ineptness and partly due to the intrigue that surrounds its director/producer/star, Tommy Wiseau
ryan-web
Sept. 14 2015
People often ask how we were able to afford a house. Yes, how indeed? When wages don't match the rising cost of standard of living; when the Union-Tribune calculates that it takes 18 years for a college-educated...
ryan-web
Aug. 31 2015
I do a lot of thinking in my car. I find there are few things more relaxing that being cocooned in a vehicle, away from computers or screens, drowning out the outside world with music. It's only
ryan-web
Aug. 10 2015
Ehrig-Burgess, sitting in the highest row, announces my arrival: "Ryan Bradford from CityBeat. Heckler #2, everybody!"
ryan-web
July 27 2015
I thought we were encouraged to wear costumes! It's what I want to shout at everyone, standing on the corner of B Street and Kettner, giving me the side-eye. Everybody looks great: Ladies wear fancy...
ryan-web
July 13 2015
If you need an example of my inexperience with drugs, look no further than the image of me, sitting at a Café Rio in Grand Junction, Colorado, typing "weed" into Yelp.
ryan-web
June 29 2015
Bodies glisten with sweat. They writhe together. You feel dirty looking, yet you can't look away. Nobody looks comfortable, but they're not not enjoying it. This is the line of people waiting to get into...
ryan-web
June 15 2015
The column you are about to read is the account of the moral, intellectual and hygienic disrepair that befell one Ryan Bradford when his wife left the country for 10 days, leaving him alone with their
ryan-web
June 1 2015
The night I see Neil Diamond in concert is the first time I've ever wondered if I've inadvertently made a deal with the devil
ryan-web
May 18 2015
The thing is, I love karaoke. I spend ample amounts of time listening to songs that could be potential material, often while playing out theoretical scenarios in my head in which I whip a crowd into the...
ryan-web
May 4 2015
The hangover should've been an omen. Or, perhaps it was the fact that the couple in the neighboring room was rehearsing a play at 9 a.m.-both seemed to be shouting their lines in a Mr. DNA-from-Jurassic...

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