Astrologically Unsound

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Illustrations by Carolyn Ramos

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): You may find that you’re attracting the wrong kind of attention, like a wriggling worm on a hook, but like the worm, it’s hard to get good attention when you’re in that kind of predicament. Read more

Astrologically Unsound

horoscope.jpg

Illustrations by Carolyn Ramos

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): It could turn out that the permanent record your vice principal warned you about is real and that this week you’ll be arrested for cutting across the decorative lawn in 1999. Read more

Astrologically Unsound

horoscope.jpg

Illustrations by Carolyn Ramos

Aries (March 21 - April 19): It never seems like a bear would really rip the doors off your SUV to get the Doritos you left on the passenger seat. Until it does. Read more

Astrologically Unsound

horoscope.jpg

Illustrations by Carolyn Ramos

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): This week is like when you have to take off your beat-up everyday glasses to try on new glasses that don’t have lenses. But now you can’t see your reflection in the store mirror since you aren’t wearing your glasses. Read more

Astrologically Unsound

horoscope.jpg

Illustrations by Carolyn Ramos

Leo (July 23 - August 22): There will be no fortuitous moment in the future where the circumstances will be perfect for you to make all the changes you want, so you may as well never do it. Read more

Astrologically Unsound