Every year, the arrival of St. Patrick's Day brings out the belligerent Irishman in plenty of us, even those who don't have an ounce of Irish blood in them. It's my duty as a Mexican woman to return the gift my drunken white brethren give me every Cinco de Mayo, a holiday that's not celebrated in Mexico, by getting wasted and wearing culturally insensitive outfits. It's a good thing plenty of bars and pubs around town have St. Patty's Day festivities going on. May the green beer flow!
Let some luck o' the Irish (aka, a drunk's groin) rub up on you at the Zane Patrick's Day party at McFadden's Restaurant and Saloon (731 Fifth Ave., Downtown) on Saturday, March 16. Zane Lamprey and Steve McKenna of AXS TV's Drinking Made Easy will be on hand to get plastered right along with you. The ambassadors of boozing know how to throw a party, and with an open bar from 1 to 5 p.m. (tickets for that are $75), you can join right in. Or you can drop $150 for access to a VIP open bar and an extra hour of raging. This is where you decide just how much of an alkie you are.
Henry's Pub (618 Fifth Ave., Downtown) will also tap into its Irish roots for a celebration featuring live music late into the night. Saxophone maestro Johnny Tarr will kick things off at 11 a.m. on Sunday, March 17, but the party won't stop 'til closing time.
I'd recommend lining your stomach with some authentic Irish grub at The Field (544 Fifth Ave., Downtown) before heading to the 18th annual Sham Rock (sandiegoshamrock.com). The Gaslamp Quarter's St. Patty-palooza, also happening on Sunday, will feature 60,000 feet of green Astroturf rolled out down three blocks of Sixth Avenue, which should aid in camouflaging your green beer barf. A 150 foot Irish pub and three stages will also be set up, but if they get too crowded, bars and pubs along the street will also be offering specials.