On July 12 at 1:57 p.m., I got a call from a concerned reader. As is my custom, I didn't pick up the phone-if I answered my phone every time it rang, I'd be fielding calls from public-relations professionals all day long. So I let the reader's call go to voicemail. Here's what he said:
"I'm just calling to say your magazine is totally disgusting, and all this gay shit you have in your magazine, it's just-you know, some people-I'm sick of all this gay shit being pushed on all these people all the time. Like, like, like, being gay is something great. They all have AIDS, they're all-augh!-your magazine disgusts me."
At first, I thought to myself: Well, this gentleman makes persuasive arguments. Maybe we should cut down on all the "gay shit." Perhaps we cater way too much to these disgusting, disease-ridden fags. Hmmm, this certainly is food for thought.
But wait-hold on just a second here. The issue that had just come out when my anonymous friend called had no gay shit in it whatsoever. Maybe he's confusing us with the Gay & Lesbian Times .
But then the amateur psychologist in me took over. Perhaps this guy is really just crying out for more gay shit, I thought, and he's just too shy to come right out and ask for it. After all, he didn't even leave his name and number. Yeah, he's just scared is all. You know what, I think we can help this fella.
Serendipitously, Gay Pride weekend is coming up-perfect timing! So, I set the team in motion. "Let's gather up all the gay shit we can find and spread it all over the paper," I said.
And, boy howdy, we came up with all kinds of gay shit. I mean, we've got the stuff comin' out of every hole. Our concerned reader will be so pleased!
It begins with Kinsee Morlan's short piece on one group's attempts to sway the fence-sitting public toward supporting marriage for everybody, even couples with similar genitalia. That's in "Newsy Bits" on Page 9.
Then things really get cooking on Page 10 with Eric Wolff's cover story detailing how tolerant San Diego seems to have become when it comes to choosing its leaders. Wolff recounts how Christine Kehoe started it all with her election to the City Council in 1992. The district attorney is gay-and she's a Republican! Mayor Jerry Sanders isn't gay, but he's so cool with the whole gay thing that he's surrounded himself with it.
We know you have many, many burning questions about gayness, so we asked our gayest contributing writer, the supremely gay Justin Roberts, to answer some of them. "Ask a Queer" is on Page 17. And, of course, we couldn't do an issue full of gay shit without "Gay Play," a rundown of gay events happening during Pride weekend. Check it out on Page 18 and then go out there and gay it up!
Normally, we have an Art & Culture story, but the one we planned for this issue wasn't nearly gay enough. So, I asked free-spirited staff writer Kia Momtazi to craft an essay about the trials and tribulations of bisexuality. It's a great read-find it on Page 20.
Lastly, as luck would have it, Troy Johnson happened to spend a day at Petco Park when the gays invaded it, followed closely by the anti-gays. Who knew the gays were so patriotic? I didn't. Troy's observations are on Page 28.
Goodness, I hope that's enough gay shit for this, the gayest of all gay weeks.
Gosh, I sure do hope I was right about what our concerned reader was really asking for. If I was wrong, I hereby apologize to everyone for all the gay shit this week.