Sooner or later, the producers of MTV's The Real World are sure to realize San Diego is a perfect setting for the show, which focuses on the adventures of “real” kids in their 20s-preferably those with a zest for naked volleyball. With an abundance of hot tubs and a longstanding reputation for catering to the drunk and stupid, San Diego has all the key elements.
In fact, it's fairly insulting that The Real World has thus far snubbed San Diego, which has a proven track record of providing contestants for Blind Date.
San Diego and The Real World are a natural match. It's easy to imagine the wackiness when semi-illiterate kids stop acting and get real, San Diego style.
Episode 1: The six lovable kids move into a two-bedroom second-story apartment in Pacific Beach after MTV producers balk at downtown rents. Things turn ugly on the first night when Brad, the alcoholic rodeo clown from Texas, and Ted, the gay firefighter from Chicago, strip naked during a Monday Night Football party at Cass Street Bar & Grill. The next day, the whole crew starts work as City Council aides.
Episode 2: Brandi, who dreams of one day becoming a flight attendant, gets a ticket for rollerblading above the speed limit on the Mission Beach boardwalk. Brad, the alcoholic rodeo clown, and Sandi, the slutty sorority girl from Los Angeles, buy ecstasy from a hot dog vendor in P.B. and end up in a Tijuana bordello, where they get their picture taken with a donkey. The gang has to use the bathrooms at a nearby Exxon station after the landlord turns off the water in the P.B. apartment when Ted forgets to pay the bill.
Episode 3: Rachel, the spunky lesbian stripper from Atlanta, discovers The Flame in Hillcrest, where she is instantly made honorary Bitch Queen. When job assignments are handed out, Cecil, the angry Black guy from Detroit, is assigned to the city's East City Negro Development Project. Brad is assigned to make sure utility-challenged Councilmember Jim Madaffer pays his water bill. Sandi, the slutty sorority girl, takes John Moores' private plane to Tahiti on a “fact-finding mission” for the new library.
Episode 4: Radio talk show host Roger Hedgecock organizes a rally to fight Brandi's rollerblading ticket. Three old ladies and a paramilitary expert from El Cajon show up. Walking to his car from Condoms Plus in Hillcrest, Ted is jumped by Fallbrook skinheads. City Attorney Casey Gwinn assures Sandi the trip to Tahiti is perfectly legitimate as a research project on “regional library trends.”
Episode 5: At the urging of city staffers, Rachel is videotaped having sex with another woman in a hot tub. She's told the video is part of a city salute to San Diego's role in the amateur porn industry. Cecil, the angry black guy, confronts a crew of surf Nazis, who take over the apartment next door and insist on blaring blink-182 at 3 a.m. Three days later, Cecil is found strapped to the P.B. pier. Publicity hungry District Attorney Paul Pfingst stops by the apartment to play his collection of Simon and Garfunkel albums.
Episode 6: Brandi's car is towed by San Diego Police after the City Council declares Pacific Beach a no-parking zone. Cameras catch Brad and Sandi having sex in the Jack in the Box restroom. Out of the hospital after his Hillcrest beating, Ted, the gay firefighter, makes a demo tape in his bathroom and is hired as a TV weatherman.
Episode 7: The gang is evicted when the owner of the P.B. apartment complex cuts a deal to turn it into condominiums. Unwilling to live in Mission Valley, they rent a three-bedroom former meth lab in El Cajon. After an article in The New York Times details the appalling lack of minorities in key positions in San Diego, Cecil is hired by the San Diego Symphony to play tambourine.
Episode 8: Things take a dark turn when Rachel is found dead in her car, parked on the side of the road just north of the 5-805 merge. Her radio is tuned to 91X, which is in the midst of an ‘80s Resurrection Month. Her death is ruled a suicide. Overcome with grief, Brad begins a relationship with Channel 6 anchor-hottie Estha Trouw.
Episode 9: In the middle of a Planning Commission meeting, a drunk Brad suggests paving over parts of Balboa Park to encourage “badly needed” fast-food restaurants. A week later a Union-Tribune article names Brad a leading candidate to win a City Council seat in the next election. Brandi wins the triple crown of reality shows, appearing on Blind Date, Dismissed and Elimadate in the same week. Even though she is dumped, dismissed and eliminated, she claims victory when she sleeps with the assistant producer for The Jerry Springer Show.
Episode 10: Sandi is convicted of taking a bribe for her flight to Tahiti, but receives probation from the judge, who once attended margarita parties at Mayor Dick Murphy's house. Roger Hedgecock organizes a rally to urge Ted's TV station to hire a “normal” weatherman. No one shows up, except Hedgecock's producer and a retired Ku Klux Klan grand dragon. Ted is promoted to anchorman.
Episode 11: The gang shares a tearful farewell and heads home, except for Brad, who decides to run for the state Senate instead of City Council. He is last seen boarding John Moores' jet for a fact-finding mission in the Bahamas.