Friday night in the Gaslamp was like the orgy scene in Caligula. Fans of both teams were climbing over one another to enter one of the many restaurants and nightclubs that line 5th Avenue. Cops nervously manned street corners, anticipating a fight between Raiders and Bucs fans. Even KUSI loudmouth hack Rod Luck looked overwhelmed as he attempted to do a remote broadcast in front of The Bitter End and 500 drunken football fans.
These football fans craved action like Anna Nicole Smith craves Krispy Kreme. Restaurant and club owners anticipated this lust and were banging the fans for every buck in their wallets. It was not uncommon to see $100 cover charges. Hell, the notoriously divey Star Bar was charging $40. Every place was packed to the gills and it was only 9:30 p.m.
Grabbing a table at the Tivoli Bar, I was able to identify the Five Species of Super Bowl Fans:
Jersey Fan-Wearing their favorite Oakland or Tampa Bay jersey, wishing they had pounded more Bud Light in the hotel room after finding out what the cover charges were. Had to pay the parking attendant double to park his raised F-250 in the parking garage.
Corporate Fan-Blue-dress-shirt-wearing corporate stiff who thinks his laminated VIP card dangling around his neck will get him some action or a drink at the bar. Repeatedly asks where Pacers is located. If under 40, they had brought slutty younger girlfriend with them as a portable trophy.
Miami Vicer-Dressed like an extra from the set of Miami Vice, this two-toned-shade wearing, black-leather-jacket-pimping phony could be seen at Thin and Deco's trying to woo football sluts with another round of cosmopolitans. MVP of the Gaslamp scene for most money spent and still going home alone.
Scared Tampa Family Fan-Best identified by a mother frantically holding onto her daughters hand as she watches a group of Raider fans threaten to kill a lone Tampa fan later in the night. Father wondering where all the taxis are.
Football Slut-Rainbow-colored lycra pants and bikini top. Mardi Gras beads, two-toned shades-and looking for luv. See Miami Vicer and Corporate fan for compatible suitors.