Real review with name changed to protect the false witness
We're guessing God was running to fill word count when he came up with this wordy and cumbersome commandment, which is basically: "Don't lie."
For the sake of applying this to our Drink Issue, we're taking on the mother of liars: Yelp. For every well-rounded, insightful review, there's some shithead dissing it for innocuous reasons. And let's face it, if an establishment's rating dips below four stars, it's less likely that you're going to go if you haven't been there.
We decided to scour Yelp to find the greatest places with less-than-ideal scores.
Lancer's (4671 Park Blvd; Yelp score: 3.5 stars)
This dive bar is jewel of University Heights, with cheap drinks and a surprisingly good selection of Scotch. It's also open early, for when you want to get your pre-noon drank on.
Selected negative review: "Normally a big fan of dive bars, but this place is a total joke. First off we ask the bartender for Jagarbombs (sic) and she says,'we dont do Bombs here.'"
Panama 66 (1450 El Prado, Yelp score: 3.5)
Before Panama 66, finding a drink and bite to eat in Balboa Park usually meant falling into a tourist trap. It would be crazy to think that anyone could put this oasis of great beer, food and cocktails on blast, but some people just can't be happy.
Selected negative review: "Upon ordering, I requested a lemonade. I then asked for light ice, and the female brunette short-haired cashier provided me with a half-full glass. I looked at her and said, 'Uh, are you going to fill that all the way? I'm really thirsty.'"
Kensington Club (4079 Adams Ave, Yelp score: 3.5):
The fact that this dive thrives in one of San Diego's richest neighborhoods makes it even better. It's hard to figure out why some people don't like this place, but maybe some people just don't like cheap drinks and a killer jukebox.
Selected negative review: "PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO LEARN TO USE YELP! THIS IS THE TYPE OF BAR U WOULD SEE ON BAR RESCUE!!! ARE YA'LL KIDDING ME WITH THIS 3 STAR BULLSHIT!"