“Yes, definitely,” she responded. “But I also don't think I'm like most straight women. I'm more like a gay man stuck in a straight woman's body.”
Maybe that's why we get along so well.
I have to admit, on this particular issue—the relative sexual activity of gay men versus the rest of the sex-having population—I agree with my roommate, fully and wholeheartedly. The sex life of your average young, homosexual male is—how shall we say this?—overly active. For the vast majority of gay men, sex is a vital part of life, something we consider absolutely indispensable.
Gay men tread down life's sexual path with varying goals in mind. Some of us are looking for love or another form of long-term partnership; others are simply looking for the next warm body to conquer, like sexstarved predators seeking out their hot, burly—or twinky, as the case may be—prey. No matter the goal, it seems we're all faced with the same sex-related obstacles along the way: some awkward, some unfortunate, others downright comical.
Nowadays, it's not that uncommon for gay men to have sex on the first date. And, no, I'm not including chance meetings at a bar as first dates. Those instances are what we consider random hook-ups, in which case, sex is compulsory. Online and iPhone-app hook-ups (read: Adam4Adam and Grindr) also fall into the “compulsory sex” category.
One of the problems with these types of scenarios and their extraordinarily high probabilities of sex is that participants usually end up requiring an antibiotic “chaser” after the fun ends. Why? Let's just face the facts: The Centers for Disease Control says there are about 19 million new STD infections every year. Even if you use condoms—and you all should be using condoms—the chances of gaining a new bacterial buddy in your genital regions are higher than most of us would care to acknowledge. Without the occasional Zithromax cocktail or Rocephin shot in your ass, you're just helping to spread those unsavory symptoms along to the next guy.
And these are just the curable STDs we're talking about. You want something really unsavory? Take into account all the incurable ones we have to try to avoid. It's a lot of effort, man. A lot of hard, sweaty effort.
But, I digress.
Another obstacle we gays must suffer through as a result of our licentious ways, an obstacle made especially torturous in situations having to deal with new potential boyfriends / partners, is the horrifying realization of just how many lovers we have in common. This gay world, it's a small one.
In the beginning of my first serious relationship, as an example, my new boyfriend and I both admitted we had to break it off with the concurrent relationships we were having in order to make our relationship an exclusive one. What we discovered in the process was that both of our concurrent relationships involved the same guy, a revelation that, in hindsight, wasn't as bad for us as it was for the poor soul who was kicked to the curb by two guys in the same day. But imagine the possible embarrassing scenarios that could result from researching your new partner's sexual history:
“Oh, so you were the one who cried regularly after intercourse?”
“You were the one who cheated on Steve with the gogo dancer from Rich's?”
“You're the one who shot himself in the eye while masturbating—not just once, but twice?!”
“Wait a minute, just how many other people have you slept with??”
As the number of mutual partners grows, the situation becomes messier, and this tiny gay world begins to feel like it's collapsing around you.
Yet another hurdle on our journey of sexual liberation is the “two drinks away from gay” effect seen in an increasing number of 20- and 30-something hipster men. These are men who identify as “straight” in their uber-slacker / stylish daily lives and show no qualms about befriending gay men. Many of them have girlfriends; some of them even have wives. But, once these guys throw back a couple drinks and are in the private company of their gay male sidekicks, it's all we can do to keep their clothes on.
I suppose this situation would be viewed as a hurdle only for the 'mo who's on the hunt for love, as the “two drinks away from gay” man is far from the ideal choice for a lifelong partner. But, for the rest of us, encounters with this particular specimen are usually welcomed warmly and oftentimes encouraged.
While it's mostly true that we gay men, upon reaching an age of sexual maturity, blaze past our counterparts in both quantity of encounters and sheer voracity of sexual appetites, it should not be assumed that our demographic is consistently the most active sexually—.
Who am I kidding? That very idea should be assumed. Ask any gay man you know what he's thinking about at this exact moment. Better yet, watch where his eyes wander when a good-looking man walks past. The eyes, they never lie.
Just please don't pass judgment if your sex life happens to not be quite as exciting. As my roommate will happily tell you, this type of life is as accessible to her as it is to anyone. You just have to know how to get in touch with your inner gay man.