Aaryn Belfer

Aaryn is an opinionated woman who will say anything and stop at nothing when it comes to fighting for racial and social justice. She has a penchant for 4-inch heels, straight-ahead jazz, and beautifully structured sentences. She's deeply committed to her family yet she refuses, under any circumstance, to deny her lust for Javier Bardem. Though...lately, Michael B. Jordan has been blowin' her hair back; it's safe to say, May-December romances are more socially acceptable than ever. Aaryn will tirelessly—and to the death—defend Monica Lewinsky, and not just because she has enviable hair: We all know that if we were in her MLew's shoes, we'd have walked that same damn mile in a blue Gap dress. Ms. Belfer would like to officially change her name to Aaryn Darling because she likes the way it sounds upon being introduced at cocktail parties.

Must we really go through this still? It's 2007, after all. Is being gay really that fringy? more

Sep 1, 2007 12:00 AM Backwards & in High Heels


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This space was pristine and glowing; the product presentation beautiful. This was no head shop; this was the Apple Store of Mary Jane. more

Jan 17, 2018 8:57 AM Backwards & in High Heels 1 Comments


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I want this year to be different. I’ve had enough of waking up everyday to a headache induced by teeth grinding; of having “motherfucker” and “Trump” be the first words that pop into my head. more

Jan 2, 2018 4:08 PM Backwards & in High Heels 1 Comments

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Decent people of America: We have to take the wins where we can get them, no? Yes. We have to. We must. more

Dec 20, 2017 10:47 AM Backwards & in High Heels 1 Comments


Photo by Ruby Belfer

Our family dog is dying. As I type this, she’s on her bed sleeping. I don’t know if she’ll be here by the time this column comes out. My gut says no. more

Dec 4, 2017 4:50 PM Backwards & in High Heels 1 Comments

It’s my least favorite time of year: The time when flocks of school children, still being misled about American History in 2017, exit classrooms wearing feathered headdresses made of colorful construction paper. more

Nov 21, 2017 11:35 AM Backwards & in High Heels


Photo by Aaryn Belfer

I don’t know who she is, but she is out there. Perhaps she is reading this column right now, this woman whom I met once for a brief moment. She’s like me. more

Nov 6, 2017 3:52 PM Backwards & in High Heels

Today, I join the ranks of the millions of inspiring #MeToo-ers who have made me think about the times I endured a man’s unwanted hands on my body. more

Oct 24, 2017 3:53 PM Backwards & in High Heels 4 Comments


Photo by Manuel Cruces Camberos

As a parent of a tween, I’m closer to an empty nest than a swing set. Meaning, I gotta have stuff on the agenda for the family, but also for my own damn self. Behold, there’s something for everyone here. more

Oct 17, 2017 3:33 PM Best of San Diego

It’s a carnival act of getting my formerly-compliant baby—now a full-size, willful person with an arsenal of withering side-eye—out the door to school without breaking her spirit. more

Oct 9, 2017 1:06 PM Backwards & in High Heels


Aaryn Belfer

“The thing about those iconic bookstores is that they became iconic in a completely organic way,” Marko said. “None of their founders set out to become icons of the bookselling world, but they engaged with their communities." more

Sep 25, 2017 12:00 AM Backwards & in High Heels 5 Comments


Photo by Molly Adams / Flickr

How many DACA Dreamers, I wondered, were in these cars, headed to their internships, their science labs, their college classes, their jobs? more

Sep 11, 2017 2:09 PM Backwards & in High Heels


Photo by Makaiyla Willis / Flickr

It was strange for me when, in the wake of the Charlottesville horror show, I found myself vaguely, if reluctantly, cheering Swift on. more

Aug 29, 2017 3:23 PM Backwards & in High Heels 2 Comments

Zsa Zsa Gabor is dead. Not the actress—though that’s also true—but the experimental noise project by Stay Strange founder Sam Lopez, who recently performed his last show under the project’s name. more

Aug 15, 2017 4:35 PM Notes from the Smoking Patio


Image by Ryan Bradford

The “grossly vanilla,” as one writer friend called it, San Diego Festival of Books is a Wonder Bread factory. more

Aug 15, 2017 3:39 PM Backwards & in High Heels 2 Comments

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On Saturday, August 5th, Pillars of the Community as well as Sutton, Aaron Harvey and others, will be offering a free, one-day conference to tackle this issue. more

Jul 31, 2017 1:45 PM Backwards & in High Heels

Last week marked the second anniversary of the death of Sandra Bland. Three days earlier, I arrived home from a week at the same Lake Tahoe mountain lodge where I was when, just last year, Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were murdered. more

Jul 17, 2017 4:20 PM Backwards & in High Heels

I really don’t know what I’m doing. If it weren’t for Frances Jensen’s life-altering book The Teenage Brain, the wheels would be coming off. As hard as it seemed at the time, the toddler and grade-school years were so much easier. more

Jul 3, 2017 7:27 PM Backwards & in High Heels

I dreaded making the call to my mother in Seattle, but after reading two cryptic Facebook posts by my brother, I knew I had to involve her. I also knew that I’d be ruining her day. more

Jun 19, 2017 4:54 PM Backwards & in High Heels 1 Comments

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Art by Robert Morris (IG: @project1460orless)

And so I stretched those 14 non-news days into six weeks before I reclined back into Instagram, the safest social media space left for me. It is on IG that I have followed various artists as a reprieve from the news more

Jun 5, 2017 5:55 PM Backwards & in High Heels


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There are some very real and very serious issues to be addressed during public comments at these meetings, and the anger was raw last week. While this isn’t unusual, this particular meeting was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. more

May 23, 2017 2:56 PM Backwards & in High Heels 18 Comments

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