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Sorry, Michelle. I can't do that. The rest of y'all can attempt to understand Trump voters and bridge the divide that has separated this great nation, but I have no interest. more

Nov 21, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward 1 Comments

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Photos by Ryan Bradford

There are times when I wish I were a real journalist. But sometimes I just want to write about a dog costume competition. I'll change the world, like, another day. more

Nov 7, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

For Halloween, we curated your scary-movie marathon using streaming films from around the Web. more

Oct 24, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

I watch horror movies in October 2013, the year I’m diagnosed with anxiety. I’ve watched them every year leading up, and will do every year following. It’s one of the few occasions where my anxiety feels natural. more

Oct 10, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

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Photo by Jessica Bradford

"Now, here’s the morbid question,” says Kathy, the woman we’ve hired to watch our cats while we’re away on vacation for 10 days. “What’s the cap of how much you are you willing to spend if one of them needs emergency care?” more

Sep 28, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

Muhayed starts on my calves, working upwards, kneading the biblical salt into Ev-Er-Y-Where. My flimsy shorts are just a formality for him. He salt-scrubs the heels of my feet, my toes. "Ticklish?" he asks. My reply is just kind of a sob. more

Sep 19, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

According to the description, Undie Bike Ride promotes a stronger bike community and positive self-body image, but scrolling through the pics of past rides, it looks like the only people who attend are hard-bodied people who don't have the ... more

Aug 29, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

On my darkest days, I'm convinced that the human race isn't capable of having fun anymore. I think what now passes for "fun" is actually a simulacra of joy meant to convince others that we're experiencing an emotion. more

Aug 15, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

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Top photo by Shelby Wentz, bottom photo by Ryan Bradford

After catching the Squirtle, you return to your co-workers and proudly proclaim, "I just caught a Squirtle." Thus begins the normalization of sounding like an idiot. more

Aug 1, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

Oh yeah, you like Wolverine? Are the Lakers or Yankees also your favorite sports teams? Is Green Day your favorite punk band? more

Jul 18, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

My interest in the Scottish Festival is distinctly American, i.e. whimsical and appropriating when it suits me best. more

Jul 6, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

Hallelujah. Sing praise for CityBeat ’s annual Drink Issue. Can we get a witness for spiritual guidelines for a flock moved by the holy trinity of spirits, wine and beer? more

Jun 24, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

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Photo by Ryan Bradford

I try to think of the last time I had a screen-free day. Certainly not in the three years since I got my first smart phone. And even before the ubiquity of computers, there was always television. Have I ever actually had a screen-free day? more

Jun 20, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

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Photo by Candice Eley

KindredPhoto by Candice Eley And on the seventh day, the Lord rested. As do most of us after a long week of toil and tribulation. If we're being honest, it begins on the sixth day; if we're rea more

Jun 14, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

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Photo courtesy of The Butcher Shop

We'd never engage in a naughty affair, but if you do there's definitely an out-of-the-way bar for that. more

Jun 14, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

We're guessing God was running to fill word count when he came up with this wordy and cumbersome commandment, which is basically: "Don't lie." more

Jun 14, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

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Photo by Torrey Bailey

The Third Commandment reminds us not to take the Lord's name lightly, and mixologists and brewers have not always listened diligently. While the alcohol content might be heavenly, the labeling calls for a direct drop-off to the underworld. more

Jun 14, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

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Photo by Ryan Bradford

One of the joys of growing up is drinking with your parents. There's nothing more humanizing than seeing your mom and dad tipsy, spill their guts and act silly, and realizing they're just stumbling through life like you. more

Jun 14, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

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Photo by Arlene Ibarra

Tiki culture had its heyday in the '40s and '50s, when restaurants and clubs started using Polynesian design themes. For bars, there was an emphasis on sweet, rum-based cocktails that were often served in an elaborate mug or glass and garni... more

Jun 14, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

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Photo courtesy of The Hideout

It's one sentence on the stone tablets we never have trouble remembering: Thou shalt not steal. It's common sense, of course, but it's also so easy to break. more

Jun 14, 2016 12:00 AM Drink Issue

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