Ryan Bradford

Ryan Bradford lives and writes in San Diego. He is the author of Horror Business.

Why is it OK to print "tranny" and "faggot" but not OK to print "the n-word"? more

May 22, 2013 12:00 AM Letters to the Editor more

Oct 26, 2011 12:00 AM The Floating Library more

Aug 3, 2011 12:00 AM , News

Ryan Bradford is a writer. The problem, he says, is that these days, most writing gigs are for websites that call stories “content,” and search-engine optimization—not creativity, or even quality—is the goal. more

Jun 28, 2011 12:00 AM Seen Local

Before Aug. 1, I had maybe suspected that National Clown Week was a thing. What I mean by that is the human mind is capable of imagining infinite atrocities. more

Aug 14, 2017 11:48 AM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Ryan Bradford

I bit down. Ketchup, mustard and pickle filled my mouth. I stopped chewing. I held that piece of burger in the side of my mouth for nearly half an hour until finally choking it down. Since then, I’ve sworn off the big three condiments. more

Aug 9, 2017 10:42 AM Food Issue


Image by Ryan Bradford

Both the world and I have zero chill right now.This is no good, because I’m on my way to the San Diego Smooth Jazz festival, which, I assume, is the Chillest Place on Earth™. more

Jul 31, 2017 12:48 PM Well, That Was Awkward

A couple years ago, I analyzed late-summer trailers and tried to determine the quality of the movies they were advertising. I'm doing it again. more

Jul 18, 2017 6:27 PM Features

Back in 1989, Garfield creator Jim Davis—not particularly known for his provocative imagination—published a series of uncharacteristically troubling comics leading up to Halloween. more

Jul 17, 2017 4:41 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Kelly Davis

Rocks are dope. Crystals are dope! Who doesn’t want to see some dope crystals? more

Jul 3, 2017 12:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Ryan Bradford

If there were a sitcom where all the characters were played by cocktails, then a Mai Tai would play the role of a wacky cousin whom everyone thinks is a little strange until the poignant final moments. more

Jun 14, 2017 12:19 PM Drink Issue


Photo illustration by Ryan Bradford

Now that summer’s here, we need to reassess men’s fashion. Women, you’re doing just great, but bros, c’mon. You look silly. You look like a bunch of grown-up toddlers. Have a little respect for yourself. more

Jun 5, 2017 5:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Ryan Bradford

And then there are goggles. Oh lord, are there goggles. more

May 22, 2017 3:04 PM Well, That Was Awkward 3 Comments


Photos by Matt Lewis

On the morning of StokerCon 2017, there’s a brief moment of panic when I realize that all of my black T-shirts are dirty. more

May 8, 2017 3:48 PM Well, That Was Awkward 1 Comments


Creepshot by Ryan Bradford

As we leave the graveyard, my sister-in-law notices a white SUV trailing us. Where it came from, no one knows, but it almost certainly belongs to the private FLDS cops who are known to hassle outsiders. more

Apr 24, 2017 4:25 PM Well, That Was Awkward

Before entering the faux-castle walls of Medieval Times, I have a brief premonition that my life will change forever. For better or worse, it’s undecided. more

Apr 10, 2017 12:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward

Beer Bro Bro Beard Hazy IPA: Notice your beard has gotten a pungent, hoppy aroma after all those IPAs? How about reinvesting those hop-hairs into a special brew? This beer has actually been pre-bearded for an extra hazy, hairy mouthfeel. more

Mar 29, 2017 11:32 AM , Beer Issue


Photo by Drew Andrews, angel treatment by Ryan Bradford

The waiter puts a steaming plate of chicken-fried steak, eggs and potatoes in front of me. Jesus. It’s heaven. A heaven that—I’m fairly certain—is going to give me diarrhea. more

Mar 27, 2017 4:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward

After our first day on set, I understood why child actors are so fucked up: anything you want, it’s yours. Candy, soda, catered meals. It’s a bacchanalian orgy of freedom and hedonism, corrupting kids in the same manner as Pinocchio’s Pleasure Island more

Mar 13, 2017 3:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Julia Evans

Writers: we were mad before it was cool. And now that outrage is thrown around like currency, we're kings. If your writing isn't—in some small way—an act of revenge, then you're doing it wrong. more

Feb 27, 2017 3:44 PM Well, That Was Awkward 6 Comments

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Photo by Ryan Bradford

Normally, this kind of event would make me as excited as when someone busts out the laser pointer, but in light of recent of events, I feel like it’s Monday and I’m out of lasagna. more

Feb 13, 2017 3:21 PM Well, That Was Awkward

Spice up this year's Valentines Day special with the help of Carl DeMaio, Duncan Hunter, a whale and more. more

Feb 7, 2017 3:06 PM , Love Issue


Image by Ryan Bradford

Since Unarius is not a religion (well, sort of), it’s not really accurate to call it a cult. As noted in this column before, I was raised in the Mormon Church, so I know about cults. Diet cult might be a better description for Unarius. more

Jan 30, 2017 3:47 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Image by Ryan Bradford

26. Considering that maybe none of this matters. That the threats to women, minorities, progressive change, the environment and the American political system as we know it are just that—threats. 27. Considering we'll probably be dead in four years. more

Jan 19, 2017 3:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward