Well, That Was Awkward

“This is a question for all the gentlemen,” Danzig says. A roar of deep whoos fills the stadium. “Have you ever felt like killing your girlfriend?” Whoooa—uh, what? more

Jan 17, 2018 11:13 AM Well, That Was Awkward 9 Comments


Image by Ryan Bradford

But on a deeper level—we’re talking fundamental crust-level now—this pizza represents the compromises we’ve all endured over the past year. more

Dec 18, 2017 2:31 PM Well, That Was Awkward

For a moment, I become lightheaded—a rush of endorphins that prime my body for the worst. “Hey buddy,” they say. “Remember us from that one time in fifth grade when you fell off the trampoline? We’re baaack.” more

Nov 20, 2017 12:56 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Chris Daly

“What’s your favorite flavor?” Dexter asks. more

Oct 9, 2017 12:43 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Image by Ryan Bradford

Let me tell you: enjoying a drink called an “Irish Car Bomb” with people who live close to the reality of that violence is definitely a little awkward. more

Aug 28, 2017 11:52 AM Well, That Was Awkward

Before Aug. 1, I had maybe suspected that National Clown Week was a thing. What I mean by that is the human mind is capable of imagining infinite atrocities. more

Aug 14, 2017 11:48 AM Well, That Was Awkward


Image via Shutterstock

Wednesday, June 7, 2017: Wake up at 5:30 a.m. to drive my wife Jessica to the hospital to have a cyst removed from her wrist. Jesus, I didn’t know there even was a 5:30 a.m. more

Jun 19, 2017 3:37 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo illustration by Ryan Bradford

Now that summer’s here, we need to reassess men’s fashion. Women, you’re doing just great, but bros, c’mon. You look silly. You look like a bunch of grown-up toddlers. Have a little respect for yourself. more

Jun 5, 2017 5:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photos by Matt Lewis

On the morning of StokerCon 2017, there’s a brief moment of panic when I realize that all of my black T-shirts are dirty. more

May 8, 2017 3:48 PM Well, That Was Awkward 1 Comments


Creepshot by Ryan Bradford

As we leave the graveyard, my sister-in-law notices a white SUV trailing us. Where it came from, no one knows, but it almost certainly belongs to the private FLDS cops who are known to hassle outsiders. more

Apr 24, 2017 4:25 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Drew Andrews, angel treatment by Ryan Bradford

The waiter puts a steaming plate of chicken-fried steak, eggs and potatoes in front of me. Jesus. It’s heaven. A heaven that—I’m fairly certain—is going to give me diarrhea. more

Mar 27, 2017 4:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Julia Evans

Writers: we were mad before it was cool. And now that outrage is thrown around like currency, we're kings. If your writing isn't—in some small way—an act of revenge, then you're doing it wrong. more

Feb 27, 2017 3:44 PM Well, That Was Awkward 6 Comments


Image by Ryan Bradford

Since Unarius is not a religion (well, sort of), it’s not really accurate to call it a cult. As noted in this column before, I was raised in the Mormon Church, so I know about cults. Diet cult might be a better description for Unarius. more

Jan 30, 2017 3:47 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Image by Ryan Bradford

26. Considering that maybe none of this matters. That the threats to women, minorities, progressive change, the environment and the American political system as we know it are just that—threats. 27. Considering we'll probably be dead in four years. more

Jan 19, 2017 3:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward


Photo by Sara Wacker

The dirt is interesting—a fundamental ingredient for all sorts of American entertainment: demolition derbies, rodeos, monster truck rallies and other super classy events. more

Well, That Was Awkward 1 Comments

awkward high.jpg

Image by Ryan Bradford

This getting high thing is new and different for me. But then again, everything feels different since election night. Everyday life feels different. When friends greet each other with "how's it going?", there's now a qualifier after every answer. more

Jan 3, 2017 9:36 AM Well, That Was Awkward

Maybe the best, most therapeutic way to assess the past year is to step back from the big picture and focus on the smaller pictures—look at the trees instead of the forest, if you will. more

Dec 19, 2016 4:00 PM Well, That Was Awkward

Mike Cernovich is a bro who really cares about masculinity, male dominance and old-school chivalry. Recently, he's has become a spokesperson for the alt-right movement more

Dec 7, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

Sorry, Michelle. I can't do that. The rest of y'all can attempt to understand Trump voters and bridge the divide that has separated this great nation, but I have no interest. more

Nov 21, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward 1 Comments


Photos by Ryan Bradford

There are times when I wish I were a real journalist. But sometimes I just want to write about a dog costume competition. I'll change the world, like, another day. more

Nov 7, 2016 12:00 AM Well, That Was Awkward

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